I can’t remember what exactly it was that day. Something small for sure, probably
“I cannot do life!”
I probably melted some tuperware on the stove. Or maybe broke my favorite coffe mug sending a hazelnut roasted explosion all over my kitchen. Possibly I left the hose on and flooded the backyard or left my car running the the driveway all night. (Can’t make this stuff up friends.)
“I screw up everything.”
But those are just the small, almost daily mistakes I make. Those are nothing compared to the big ones.
Those kind of mistakes that cost something. That cause pain. Those mistakes can’t be fixed with a trip to the grocery store or a little elbow grease.
“I’m a mistake.”
Somewhere along the messy and sometimes dangerous road of life I become convinved my mistakes aren’t something I do, they are who I am.
I stumble as my hands grasp to hold on to some truth.
That serpant in the garden tripped us up and we have been tripping all over ourselves ever since.
That’s what He called us.
In an intense moment of intimacy God bent low and close and breathed desire from His nostrils into our souls.
Did He not know?
That we would grab the fruit?
That we would chase the rainbows?
That we would make a thousand mistakes for every right one?
We made a mistake that costs us life. Didn’t He see it coming?
How could those words come when He knew what was coming?
But God knows from the beginning from the end which leaves us with one wild and improbably conclusion when we are sitting in the middle of our mess:
He knew what it would cost, He believed you were worth it.
Not just that you were worth it in you saved and sanctified state, but you were worth the risk of a relationship that you might not choose.
Before you ever did anything bad.
Before you ever did anything good.
God knew what you would cost and believed it was worth it just to be with you.
And, Oh, it wasn’t cheap.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten sun that whoever believes in him will not die, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
So maybe it’s easy to lable spilled milk as a mistake, but make no mistake…God did not stumble when he made You. He did not scrable to find a way to fix the fall. He knew what it would cost and He believed your very existence was worth it.