"Oh, and by the way? Happy Anniversary."
Darn it. I forgot again.
To be fair, for many years both of us have forgotten. Once or twice I've remembered and he's forgotten. Though, to be honest, that's far less likely.
It isn't that we don't care. Well, sort of.
I mean we absolutely celebrate being married. In fact, as I write I also have tab open to Pinterest so that I cannot miss any of the best food when we go to New Orleans soon. Together. As a couple. No kids. I could even go pop open the fridge right now and see the steaks sitting there waiting for our date night.
Nope. We are definitely into our marriage.
We are just really bad at our anniversary. But come to think of it, we were really bad at our wedding too.
We skipped invitations, fancy dresses, and a identically clad entourage. We picked our wedding day by picking a football by-week. We had season tickets after all and we didn't want to miss a game.
There are a million excuses I could give from the self-righteous (We just weren't into all that material stuff) (Cue eye roll) to the slightly more honest (Big day sabotage in broken families is for real), but I think at the heart of it there was something else.
We both knew it wasn't the most important day.
We didn't know much, actually, we still don't know much.
But in this cold hard world a person can rarely make it out of diapers without realizing that a broken world can make broken hearts and broken hearts can break vows just as easily as the dried up twigs that snap in the fall.
We did know that much.
That day where we stood up there and vowed "'Til death do us part" was a miracle in the moment. But a moment does not a lifetime make.
Because leaning on one day nine years ago isn't going to hold us together when he's on a business trip again, I've got a kid running a 102 temperature, our wires got crossed again, or if I have to make one more meal I'm going to stick this wooden spoon up....
Well. My point is, in real life, the miracle of that day only matters in light of the miracle of this day.
This day is the one that matters in my marriage.
Do we choose to press in? Engage instead of avoid. Apologize instead of insist. Hold hands when we have a second. Leave the kids to their morning busy and step outside to watch a sunrise together. Send a text. Kiss like we mean it.
So yeah, a meaningful celebration is just that, but the miracle of marriage is in the choices we make today.