Dear Boys, Today. Oh sweet today. Today your daddy and I looked you in the faces for the first time. Not a picture, not a report, your actual faces and hands and smiles.
You were both understandably shy at first. I can imagine you were wondering what the strange looking people were doing showing up to see you and talk to you.
Big, Miss Sharon said that she couldn't even believe that you could be shy for even a minute. You were, but not much longer than that. Because your daddy knew all about high fives and tickle spots and you were all in for that. By the end of the day you had no problem jumping off a ledge into my arms, I mean I had a problem because you're like the strongest (read:heaviest) three year old ever, but I was more than happy to take that blow just to get to hold you. You loved showing is how well you can climb and that you were brave enough to swing with out hands.
Little you weren't feeling today. When you finally braved up enough to sit up next to me you touched my hair. Over and over again you soothed yourself by just playing with the waves. We sang songs and at 11:55 when my phone alarm went off to "pray for the boys" I whispered my prayer right there while holding you. You walked me around the yard touching things and having me say the English. It was wonderful.
I could hardly bear to leave for lunch and certainly walking away at the end of the day caused your daddy's and my steps to slow. But we will be back. Tomorrow. Again the next day. And hopefully soon we will be back and you will get to walk out that gate with us. We have miles and miles to go and many a hard road left to walk, but today we took a step. A breathtaking beautiful step.