Dear Russ, Even though you did not believe with all your hear that I could mow the back yard in straight lines, I have accomplished my task. When the lines started to look like rainbows or a little squiggly (because your mowing patterns are so uncreative) I even went back and fixed them.
Now if you notice any lines that do not look perfectly straight this is just an optical illusion caused by global warming. Due to my exceptional mowing performance in the backyard you may feel free to treat me to Sicilian Fire Sticks at your soonest convenience!
With all my love,