I know that as a general rule I am a very bad summer blogger. I'm sorry. Yesterday I was super sick with a tummy bug so while I was bed bound I was entertaining myself with a Myers Briggs personality test. I'm pretty self reflective so I adore a good personality analysis.

As I was reading through my (hit the nail on the head) results I realized that there is another reason that haven't been a very good summer blogger.

*sigh* don't you just love having your weaknesses spelled out for you.

Here is the thing, for those of you interested I am an ENFJ, for those that aren't I'll give you the quick run down on what that means. It means I'm a people person, I'm decisive, a speaker, confident, loyal to a fault, and black and white in the values department.

Also, I require tons of outside support and I don't do well with resistance or dissent.

*another sigh*

It's so so true.

My way of handling dissent is avoidance. If I think you are not going to support me or that I might ruffle feathers or step on toes then I just say nothing. Don't mistake my silence for being unsure. I'm not. In fact by my very nature once I've made a decision in takes an act of God to change my mind. Ask my husband...he has seen it happen.

So here is the thing, one summer we were moving and it was hard to leave the people on our life at that time so I shut down. The next summer I was in the middle of a very desired pregnancy with the Bug and didn't comprehend how to explain how miserable I was so I shut down. Last summer I was in the middle of a surprise pregnancy and dealing with some dark time so I shut down.

This summer? We are making some changes in our adoption process that have already caused me to reel from the backlash. So here I am, shutting down again.

But just like last summer I'm going to fight the urge to be silent. As I can find the time I'm going to share Russ and my heart with you on where we are as a family and where we want to go. You don't have to like it if you don't want to.

But you don't have to tell me you dont either.