Major Milestones

Miss Jane is enthusiastically rolling around in her crib right now which is awesome and just right on target for the long list of What to Expect the First Year (which is a stupid book and I highly suggest that you expect nothing the first year and just roll with the punches) and baby milestones.

But after you have been a mommy for awhile you realize that some of the most important and most valued milestones your babies hit aren't published in any book. So I made a short list of milestones that matter more than when your baby walks.

-Your baby can put her own paci back in her mouth. Ya heard?

-Sitting up unassisted in the bathtub, thereby ridding your bathroom of all sorts of "lets bathe the baby" contraptions.

-Becoming strong enough to bathe with an older sibling. Bath time divided in half. (Can you tell bath isn't my favorite?)

-He learns to actually respond to a questions. Thus the beginnings of mini-conversations and the end of sounding like a crazy person narrating your entire life to someone with a blank look on his face. Amen?

-Memorizing books. Nobody loves to read books as much as I do, but Lily could even wear me out with the "read it agains" and then one day she magically started picking up books and "reading" them word for word, quietly, while I got snacks ready in peace.

-Getting dress by themselves. Ava has almost mastered this one and it will be a beautiful day when she does.

-Bonus points for being able to handle shoes and outerwear. Two days ago when we were getting ready to head outside Lily not only got herself dressed, she put on boots, mittens, a hat, and a coat. Glory Hallelujah.

Of course this is a double edged sword because there are also the milestones they leave out that you need to know about on the other side:

-Somewhere after learning how to crawl/walk they will learn how to climb and then no peanut butter is ever safe again.

-They learn to work door locks and you jump and twitch everytime you hear a door open or close wondering if your emerging toddler just got out. 

-They learn to open jars or bottles. Take it from me: Hide your Mentholatum.

-They repeat. 'Nuff said.

-Shortly after learning to repeat they learn to tattle. God Bless.

-And then right after that they learn to tell stories and then everybody your child comes in contact with thinks your crazy people. Also then the "but daddy said" manipulation games start. The good news is your discernment skill greatly improve at this milestone.

Your favorite off the books milestones. Go!